slappy jamon

As a young child adam was mocked and berated for being so much bigger and smarter than all of his cohorts. After being pushed into a vat of nitric acid he became the all seeing, all dancing, scum of the earth but still as strong and smart as he was before. What resulted from the nitic acid bath was SLAPPY JAMON!!! The name derives from his post-acid-bath-ability to literally slap hams (jamon is Spanish for ham). As he goes about the world slapping hams he rides his bike and scores points for his team Riding Together for Crustaceans. (Slappy is not a big fan of that name, but Slappy abides).